Inadvertent Realism

Transcript: “Hey sweetcheeks, you better adjust your hair, we got a couple of feds up ahead.”

Joey Vallone put on an exaggeratedly forced smile, “Oh, why thank you honey. I didn’t even see them!”

Joey sighed as he took out the compact from his purse to ensure that he still looked the part. Having one of them dressed up in drag so that he and his partner, Ringo, could pretend to be a married couple was a ruse they commonly used fool cops, but it didn’t make it any more bearable.

“Remind me why I have to be the woman this time?”

“Cause I was the woman last time and besides, you make a better woman than I do.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t have to blow the cop back there to keep him from seeing through your fool partner’s shoddy disguise. Blech, I’ve already had three breath mints and I can still taste it. Once we get into a town, I’m getting myself a drink.”

 “Ladies don’t drink,” Ringo stated matter-of-factly.

“Well, ladies don’t have cocks hidden between their legs underneath their panties now do they! And damn it, this thong is giving me a wedgie you wouldn’t believe!”

A few miles down the road, Officer Washburne watched as an expensive luxury car drove past, “Hey Quinn, do you think that’s them? They said they might be in disguise.”

His partner, Quinn, looked up momentarily from his mystery novel to take a look at what Washburne was pointing at, “Pfft, if that scrumptious looking brunette is a man, you can have my job! I still have half a mind to stop them just to be certain though, I sure wouldn’t mind doing a very thorough full body search on her. At any rate, there’s no way that’s them. It’s obvious to see that the two of them are a real married couple.”

“Really, how can you tell?”

“They argue like one.”