Leave No Doubt (GIF)

This blonde bombshell is far more cunning than she'll lead you to believe...

Transcript: The flurry of shutter clicks drowned out all other cacophonous requests for comments as Kendall scotched out of her luxury limousine. She pretended not to notice her dress sliding up, much further than it ought to be ladylike, exposing her shaved intimate treasure for the ever opportunistic paparazzi—and no doubt the entire world once the photos appeared in the tabloids tomorrow—to see.

It would seem like a careless mishap: “Wardrobe Malfunction” the headlines would read. But it was actually all a carefully calculated stunt. Ever since an unfortunate, but thankfully undocumented catastrophe, it had been rumored among some circles that Hollywood’s newest and hottest leading lady was not a lady at all, but a man! The rumors were true. Kendall hadn’t actually been born a woman and still had her boy parts, but the public didn’t need to know. So with the help of an extremely convincing prosthetic faux pussy—which was really nothing more than a meticulously crafted, custom made, silicone panty, complete with an entirely functional and lifelike vagina molded in—and some viral publicity, Kendall intended on silencing her accusers once and for all.

But that wasn’t all she intended on using it for. She planned on wearing it to bed this evening for her date with Brett. A tall drink of water by any woman’s standards, Brett was her frequent romantic costar onscreen and equally passionate lover off. She had already trusted him with her secret, so she knew he wouldn’t be fooled, but pretending to be a genetic girl in the bedroom ought to be plenty of fun. Who knows? Somehow, someone might even leak a sex tape of Kendall and Brett onto the internet…